Rumors again

Well rumors are pouring in that referrals will soon be here. I don't know what to think. Some are saying Nov 14, and still others are saying Nov 7th. I feel sorry for the November families because they must be sick this morning. I know I would have a hard time thinking clearly today if it were me.

On to us.......our agency has told us (yesterday) that we will find our sn child before our nsn referral ever gets here. This is not what was told to us in October. In fact the opposite was told to us in OCTOBER......it makes no difference to us. We are asking for an older child, or a child with a mild sn. By older child we mean 4yrs or younger. OH and of course we are waiting for a GIRL!! Adopting an older child many times can be difficult because these children can be living with a foster family. Well they bond to the foster family, and we are looked at as strangers. The children often bond to their nannys also. It's truly heart breaking to think about all our child will have to go thru. Anyway, we are expecting a list in July from our agency. This does not mean we will get a file, just that there is a possibility.

I'm sad about leaving my AGENCY LID group. Basically because of the 11 families we started with.....we have met zero. The other 10 families are not part of the internet family that we have met and made friends with. It will be interesting to see their babies when referrals finally get here!!

Memorial Day

We prayed yesterday for the troops. For all the families that have lost loved ones. For my Uncle who died in World War II. May they all find peace.

May our children never see war, or know it's horror. May they always be safe, warm, and loved.

God Bless the USA!!!

**Some of our friends need some serious prayers so if you are a praying person, please add us to your list!!!!

Rumors, Rumors, Rumors!

Rumors are flying...A speed up is about to occur, April is out of review, CCAA wants to finish up 05 as fast as they can.....dare we believe this? How many times have we suffered thru false hopes? Please let us hear good things soon!

Wow! 13 and how many more?

Well 13 months.....no one believed it would take this long. And still we wonder?? How much longer???

Two good things about today......daddy came home from the hospital, and it's FRIDAY!

There has been a lot going on with me, some people are really trying to bring me down, but I refuse to let them!! Things will get better!

Happy Memorial Day everyone!!!!!!

Just saying hello there

Well Dad did great. 9 hours of nail bitting surgery. They got the tumor, and sent away another biopsy that is supposed to be in today. We have not heard. So far we know that dad will be home by this weekend. I'm trying to get all the details so we can be sure to be there to pick him up. I've had a hard time working part time. Some of my families are looking for other daycare. I have no hard feelings about this, I know that they need daycare, and I've had to close lately to care for dad. At the same time, I can't worry about my daycare parents when my family needs me. Family is number 1....everything else is details. Dad's girlfriend is home now with hospice. She doesn't have long. It is so very SAD! I guess I have been thru so much lately that I realize there are just some things in this world that we can't control and we just have to keep going. I am tired, very, very, tired. I know my iron is low, because by the end of the day, I can barely lift my legs.

On to the adoption.........I have been avoiding it lately. It's getting hard to deal with at times. I've been hiding. I'll be back to my old self soon. Friday is month 13 LID for us!!! Slowly, slowly, slowly, we are getting there.

Getting out of here!

No the photo isn't mine. We are going away for a few days. We leave Friday evening. We will be back on Sunday. I want to clear my mind before I have to deal with next week. Next week is dad's cancer surgery. It's a big ordeal, and the heart doctor is not saying very positive things. Dad is aware of the risks, and has signed the papers to proceed. No matter what happens, next week is going to be horrible. I know this, I'm trying to block it out....but in quiet moments, like now when the children are sleeping.....It creeps back on me. I believe in the power of prayer, I just don't know what it is to pray for. He has a long road to go. Even after the surgery, things will be very bad for a while. He has to undergo chemo, and probably radiation as well. I'm going to go and celebrate Mother's Day with my boys and walk on the cold beach and think about all the good things in my life, I'll say a little prayer for my mother who passed 10 years ago, and I will talk to the boys about her as I do every year to keep her alive with us. I'll think about having Emily with us next year. I'll say a prayer for her birth mother.
I'll think about the hospital on Monday.

Review Room Blues

We have the review room blues....we have been in review for what seems like forever! After the review room, we move to the matching room hallway. We are April, so I can just imagine what this hallway looks like......They are only up to November now. That is 6 months of files....
Wow, 6 months of files, and it's May. So if we are going to get our nsn by February that would mean that my agency thinks that things will major speed up....that is really not good. The rumors out there are saying no chance to that.